What no one told me in my 20s: success, self-love, lies we inherit

I didn’t have the luxury of a carefree childhood and that meant I had to be an adult when I was a child and a child when I was an adult. There was no guidebook, blueprint, just figuring things out as I went.

For most of my life, I thought success was about proving something. If I worked hard, achieved enough, maybe I’d feel whole. But at 37, after years of trials and failures, I realised: Ambition alone doesn’t fix you.

Kane, Abel or the choice we don't talk about

If you’ve read Kane and Abel, you know how their stories end. Kane, the disciplined banker, built an empire but lived a distant, calculated life. Abel, the relentless immigrant, fought his way to the top but let vengeance drive him. Two men, two extremes.

Growing up, I thought these were the only paths: build ruthlessly or fight relentlessly.

Stories we carry are : Hustle = Worth, Sacrifice = Strength, Struggle = The Only Way

It took me 37 years to unlearn these. To stop chasing validation and start embracing self-love, self-awareness, and most importantly - self-humility.

If I could tell my 20yr old self

It wouldn’t be about making more money or working harder. It would be this:

• Define success for yourself. Kane chased legacy. Abel chased revenge. Neither stopped to ask: What do I actually want?
• Love yourself now, not later. Self-worth isn’t a reward for achieving more.
• You don’t have to suffer to succeed. Hard work is necessary, but self-destruction isn’t.

Faith Over Hope

I’m not writing this for sympathy. I’m writing it because I know there are others like me - people who grew up without guidance, who had to figure things out the hard way.

Hope is nice. But faith? Faith is knowing that even if no one handed you a roadmap, you can still find your way.

I sit here now, not at the peak of success, but at the pinnacle of something better. self-love, self-awareness, and self-humility.

And if no one told you these things at 20, let me be the one to tell you now.